Saturday, 3 May 2014

This month I have been mainly...discovering a den of iniquity in Biff & Chip books

Welcome to the weekend you disgraceful lot.  It's time to catch up on what my slovenly household and I have been up to in April.

1. I have unearthed a den of iniquity in Biff and Chip books.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B is from a book called The Babysitter.  Now kids, we don't judge on appearances in real life, but seriously Roderick Hunt and Alex Brychta, when coming up with an illustrative character to represent a babysitter, what made you think that a sweaty, cardigan wearing, tissue clutching man was the way to go?

2. My son demonstrated his love for me with this charming card he made at school. (And yes, his handwriting really is that lame):

So that's nicely cemented our reputation as the 'that' family at school.  

3. The ants have been paying homage to our kitchen again.  In related news, Rory has been learning about chemical death and alternative uses of vacuum cleaners.  

4. I gained 4lbs doing the Slimfast diet for one week.  I'm not sure how this is even possible.  You don't get a photo to illustrate this one.  Nobody wants to see 4lbs of lard.

5. Going back to reading books and insects for a moment, this week Rory took one home about how a flea sucks your blood, complete with graphic illustrations.  So that's nice.  However, my friend's daughter took one home called The Wonderful World of Scaffolding recently, so perhaps we should think ourselves lucky?

6. I have had the dubious honour of being used to promote the  wellbeing test after I wrote for them a while back.  This has had the unfortunate impact of my face appearing at random on the computer screens of my friends while they're innocently looking up articles about thrush and chickenpox, like some crazy healthcare stalker and freaking them out.  Bwahahahahaaaa, I'm watching you.

7. I have been shortlisted for a Britmums Brilliance in Blogging award in the 'laugh' category.  (Hurrah!)  If you'd like to vote for me, click on this link, scroll to the bottom of the page, click on the 'vote for your favourites now' link and then you should be taken to a voting form.  Alternatively, clicking on the image below should take you directly to the voting form if I haven't screwed up my html.



  1. I think the dildo is *meant* to be an urn... with ashes...

    I'm not sure if this makes it worse or better....

  2. Sadly i must point out the 'obvious dildo' appears to be an artillery shell (think huge effing bullet).
    I am further forced to state "Dont knock the scafff!" having spent a good six months studying the force loading on truss structures. Yes its as bad as it sounds.