Thursday, 16 May 2013

Wins and Fails

It's been a while since I did a wins and fails post so seeing as today was particularly conducive to one, here we go:

WIN: It's a sunny day; lets go to the farm.

FAIL: Still cannot interest child in anything that doesn't have wheels after nearly 4 long years of trying. Sorry goats, it's all about the tractors for us.

WIN: God, this is brilliant.  We should totally have some chickens in our garden.  And some goats.  And maybe a sheep.  Didn't Billy Kennedy off Neighbours have a sheep in his garden?  Am pretty certain he did as always payed v close attention to Neighbours when BK was on it due to his teen love God status.  There was definitely a sheep.  Will maybe also get a cat.  Will be just like a proper family.  Proper families have pets.

FAIL: Am highly allergic to cats.  Plus garden too small for sheep and goats and not convinced that John From Next Door would be entirely up for sheep and other livestock in the vicinity. Do not think he is great animal lover, what with his annual cull of the squirrels and suchlike.  Also, husband mortally afraid of chickens.

WIN: Reason number 472 for having an only child: playing races together on the Go-Karts at the farm and being free to speed around track like bat out of hell in attempt to beat him instead of having to rescue a smaller child from the jaws of danger every time it gets interesting.  Yes, I beat my 3 year old at go-karting.  Yes, I cheated by crashing into him then pedalling off.  No, I am not ashamed of my behaviour.  Go-karting absolutely brilliant.  Would be amazing to set aside large area to concrete over and make into go-kart track. Would keep Rory busy and also be excellent form of exercise for all.  Could go-kart all summer long.  Yes.

FAIL: Entire garden is size of small paddling pool.  In fact, entire ground floor of house is smaller than go-kart track.  Re-think.

WIN: Will you look at how goddamn awesome I am; buying all my food from the farm shop.  Look - am actively involving my preschooler in choosing the best fruit and veg, and we have free range meat in our basket and  freshly picked strawberries and newly laid eggs and stuff. Could I feel any more smug?

FAIL: Rory won't eat any of the salad we prepared with food from the farm shop.  He's not just being a stubborn little shit; it actually made him retch.  Mercy dash to Aldi to panic buy chicken nuggets and fake Penguin bars. ("Mummy, there is something wrong with my Penguin. It has got a otter on it. Now, that's not right." Even 3 year old not fooled by pretendy Aldi brands).

WIN: Is OK though, because I'm going to eat all the salad and fruit up myself.  In fact, I have lost a stone recently: A WHOLE STONE.  That's because I've been eating so healthily and exercising such a lot.  Am definitely one of those yummy mummies.

FAIL: At least 80% of said stone has come off of my breasts.  All FF bras rendered useless and husband going around with very woebegone expression on face.  This may be because he's recovering from the tummy bug he caught from Rory which gave him a free but very unpleasant colonic irrigation treatment, but lets face facts - it's really about the shrinking norks isn't it?

WIN: Little boy smelling of strawberries and sunshine snuggling up to me on the sofa and telling me he's had a lovely day and I'm his best friend.

FAIL:  No fail.  Delightful.  Who needs goats and chickens in the garden when you've got that?

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Walkers Hoops and Crosses Review

It turns out that nothing scuppers your diet like Walkers sending you crisps to review.

This caused something of a stampede in the Disgrace household as everyone shouted "OPEN THE CRISPS" within 3 seconds of their arrival.  This tells you a lot about my family.

Here is a not-at-all-posed picture of some happy boys eating said crisps.  The photo also features the long suffering cover from the brown sofa lying folornly in the background, waiting to be put back in place after being washed for the millionth time due to a puking child incident a couple of days before.  Here is a good point to mention that the crisps arrived in the middle of Rory's week long stomach bug; during the 2 day window when he wasn't vomiting and we thought he was better, in fact.  Shortly before he started throwing up again.  I'm sure you can imagine how riotously happy I was when I got to see these crisps a second time around.  This is the sort of thing that happens to us.

On with the review.

They're called Hoops & Crosses and are a sort of corn snack thing in the style of Monster Munch, but in the shape of hoops and crosses so you can play noughts and crosses with them.  I'm not sure why this is a selling point as the last things I want my (ALWAYS CHUFFING ILL) son to do is start putting his food all over germy surfaces before eating it.

They come in three flavours - beef, salt and vinegar and prawn cocktail, and a quick taste test confirms that the ones we had (beef) tasted exactly like Monster Munch.  This is A Good Thing.

Their main selling point is that they contain 56% wholegrain, whereas other types of snacks along these lines don't contain any.  They also contain no artificial colours or preservatives and 30% less fat than similar snacks.  They're basically marketed to parents as a healthier choice of snack for children.

I'm not sure what I think about this.  If you put them side by side with Monster Munch or similar, then yes, they are a healthier choice.  I'd rather give my son snacks like these that contain wholegrain than ones that contain none at all.  But a quick read of the ingredients list still reveals sugar, salt and lactose powder, so they're hardly a 'healthy choice'.  But then - we're not all Gwyneth Paltrow feeding our children macrobiotic diets (thank the lord), and I think crisps and snacks like these are perfectly fine as long as they don't eat them every day.  I think a bit of common sense is a good thing here: I'd rather Rory ate these than something similar minus the wholegrain content and plus MSG and artifical colours, but I'm under no illusions that these are a health food or even a particularly healthy food.  They're a less-bad-than-normal treat, and that's fine with me.

I'll sum up by saying that we all loved the taste, especially my junk food loving husband, who'd exist on multipacks of Space Raiders if I let him.  Rory says he'd like some Hoops & Crosses for his birthday tea, which is high praise indeed, and I've decided that at 85 calories per pack, they're something that I can eat if I'm craving crisps without too much guilt.  I still refuse to believe that they're 'healthy' though.

This is a sponsored post.  All opinions are my own.