Friday, 14 December 2012

Humiliating Christmas Cards to Make: a Tutorial

 
Nothing like a bit of humiliation at Christmas.  It's a fantastic time to dig out all the photos from Christmasses gone by and the crappy decorations the kids made at school 30 years ago.  I am not spared this humiliation as every year, the creepy looking shepherd collage with shifty eyes that I made when I was nine makes a sinister appearance, as does this photo of me winning a colouring competition at 4 years old, which is affectionately known as 'Lisa and Wrong-un Santa':
"May I congratulate you on your excellent comb-over Father Christmas? And no, I don't want to see your kittens."
Rory is 3 years old now and I haven't got enough Christmas themed dirt on him yet to put aside for years to come, so what better opportunity than Christmas card making to create some?  Cue this tutorial which I gave a test run several years ago on my Year 3 class, who are now about 14 years old and will be overjoyed that I assisted them in making this priceless piece of embarrassing nostalgia by now.

LETS DO IT.
 
 
You will need:
Photos of your child's face (do be creative with these - try and get one of them of them pulling a supremely gippy expression), card, glue, doilies (white and gold) and silver or gold pipecleaners.


 
Step 1:
Cut out child's face.  Obviously if they're older and less cack handed than my child they can do this themselves.  As it is, I didn't fancy clearing up blood and severed limbs so I did it.  Why has it uploaded to blogger sideways? Sorry.


 

 
Step 2:
Cut out 1 triangle shape from a white doily and two triangles from a gold doily.  Again with the sideways uploading - WHY?


 

 
Step 3:
 Glue the two gold triangles to the back of the white one like so:


 

 
Step 4:
Stick to the card right side up and top with child's disembodied head.  Curse Blogger for uploading 50% of photos in this post sideways. 


 

 
Step 5:
Cut a piece of pipecleaner to make a halo and attach with glue.


 

 
Job done.  Send out to deserving relatives and save one to bring out ceremoniously each year for comedy value and general bashing of self esteem.

Disclaimer:  I would like to point out that Rory did actually make this card - he made 3 in fact - but every photo I took of him doing the different steps came out as a blur of flashing glue stick and wild eyes, so I had to set some of them up afterwards.  Proof below that he was involved:


 
 
 
 

Tots100 Experience Days Competition

11 comments:

  1. Those are genius. I'm making those next year!

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  2. Blogger is doing that to me too. I shall be hitting it with a hammer very soon.
    Oh, the cards are awesome by the way :)

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  3. I'm just taking thousands of pictures of them in Christmas gear.
    I'm gonna be sad when they get old enough to realise what Mum says is cool isn't...

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  4. These are so funny, what a great idea. x

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  5. Aha! It was you! I saw this post the other week, and decided to make them with my class. Could I remember where I had seen the idea? Nope. We did ours with paper snowflakes as Accrington Asda was out of doilies (I was stared at incredulously when I asked for them.) I have a photo of mine that I made as a demo, I'lll find it for you ;) Thanks for the idea!

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  6. Congrats on your win - thisdayilove

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  7. Why oh why did I miss this before Christmas?!?
    It'll work for Easter though won't it?
    Brilliant. I applaud your creative genius and your win. See you at the spa x

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  8. I love this so much! Wishing so much I had seen this before Christmas. Saving it up for next year!

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