I don't usually join in with Linky things (memories here of my mum shaking her head and whispering "she's not a joiner" to my nursery school teacher), but this one gives me the chance to create my own Manifesto of Great Truths. Self indulgent. Satisfying. Lets do this thing:
1. The day after you finally bite the bullet and deep clean your bathroom, someone will puke in it. Solution: don't bother.
2. You can tell a lot about a man by looking at his feet. Horrible, scruffy, cheap shoes which are falling apart suggest a complete lack of self care and a potential aversion to personal hygiene. I don't want to be involved with anybody who can't look after themselves, thankyou. This has nothing to do with only finding fashionably attired men attractive - it's all about the lack of self respect. On the other side of the coin, any bizarre fashion victim-y footwear points to a self obsessed peacock who also requires your avoidance. And freakishly long, skinny feet are CREEPY AS HELL AND YOU SHOULD RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY.
3. Don't be a smug parent. The very second after you say something smug about your child, they will prove you wrong in the most horrible and publicly humiliating way possible.
4. Eating healthily, drinking 8 glasses of water a day, abstaining from chocolate and going for a run every other morning makes you look and feel amazing. Finding the motivation to eat healthily, drink 8 glasses of water per day, abstain from chocolate and go for a run every other morning and stick to it for more than a fortnight is impossible unless you a) have an eating disorder or b) don't actually like food.
5. Pre baby, it is perfectly possible to live a life of glorious harmony with your partner. Within a few months of giving birth, you will both be masses of seething resentment, and you will have made up an offensive song about them which you sing whenever they leave the house after pissing you off (possibly to the baby - it can't talk yet after all). Mine is called 'Richard You're a Wanker' and is to the tune of 'Rhythm is a Dancer'. I am fully aware that he's probably made one up about me too. I'm fine with that. Whatever keeps the homicidal tendencies at bay.
Do you have any great truths you'd like to share with the world? Or do you just want to read some more? Link up with Kate to join it.