1. What is in this picture? (not Chris Jarvis)
a) Why, that's the Show Me Show Me tree of course.b) An amusing sculpture of an intimate female body part so large that birds regularly fly in and out of it, otherwise known as Vag Tree.
2. What are these?
a) An ingredient which I use regularly in my Annabel Karmel recipes.
b) Pffff, who cares? Missiles?
3. This is:
b) Officer Dicktease.
4. I like to think I have taught my child to...
a) ...have confidence in their own abilities, be polite, think of others before themselves and appreciate literature.
b) ...do rock slides, fetch me food, shout "TOPS UP" loudly in public whilst lifting their shirt over their head and doing a victory run, do a running sideways leap onto public transport as the doors are closing whilst talking on a mobile phone and eating a packet of Quavers at the same time.
5. This is:
a) Part of an episode of The Hotel Inspector?
Mostly A = You are a responsible parent. Congratulations.
Mostly B = You are either a 12 year old boy or an honorary member of my household.