Yeah, really bored here today.
NINJA DRESSING UP FUN:
You will need:
Two t-shirts. Not yours. Use daddy's as he probably won't notice that they've got stretched out of shape.
This web page so you can follow the instructions: http://www.ehow.com/how_2265800_make-ninja-mask-out-tshirt.html
Toddler/child with really stupid sense of humour
Remove all pieces of Lego and toy cars from the vicinity before attempting any stealth ninja moves. We found out about this the hard way.
Amount of time it wastes in the never ending day:
How long have you got?
Lets just clarify one thing: I have not been teaching Rory about ninjas or any other form of violence. As far as he is concerned, a ninja is a person who wears an amusing mask and sneaks about a lot, doing high kicks and making comedy noises.
This one was easy:
Followed instructions to turn t-shirts into masks for Rory and I, then embarked on ninja stealth mission around the ground floor of our house, jumping out at each other and pulling some first rate martial arts moves as we went. Much hilarity.
Not so much hilarity as we stood by the window while I adjusted his mask and realised that a horrified neighbour was watching from across the street, potentially under the impression that I was a masked predator smothering a child. Encouraged him to give her a cheery wave to indicate that all was well.
Less hilarity still when I opened the door to a window and fascia board salesman with a t-shirt around my neck and attempted to conduct a conversation about why I wanted him to go away and never darken my door again when Rory the Masked Warrior suddenly sprang into view from behind the sofa, doing an approximation of a king fu kick and shouting "MINGE". (Close to 'ninja', but not quite. Well tried son). On the plus side, I don't think the salesman will be coming back any time soon.